The Story of Grizzarus Nation: A Tale of Hubris
There once was a coach named Bob Stittalus who came to the Kingdom of the University of Montana after meddling in the world of Division II football for years. Stittalus was an ordinary man, save for one talent: he was a creator of a mythical offense that no one had seen before.
Stittalus tinkered with this offense often and went through his first year in the Big Sky with some bad and some good. But this year, oh this year, was going to be the year that the Kingdom of UM football returned to being “Montana football” and all the land was going to see why this coach came up a level to try is hand in the Football Championship Subdivision (Formerly IAA).
Stittalus was tired of not receiving the national respect that his neighboring Kingdom of Eastern Washington was getting. He had to listen to the other Kingdom talk about Cooper Kupp and their red pastures. Stittalus decided it was time to let his offense fly! It was time to spread their new wax wings and show the world what transformation had gone on at UM!
Stittalus built wax wings and brought his son Grizzarus Nation in on the plan. Now, Stittalus tried not to get his son too arrogant and confident, but never really tried to temper the spirit. He said, “If you fly too low, the water from the waves will weigh your wings down and you will crash. BUT if you fly too high, you will get too close to the sun and your wings will melt and you will come crashing down.” After offensive test runs against the worst of the worst kingdoms in all the land (Sacramento State and Mississippi Valley State), Stittalus and Grizzarus Nation decided this was the time – it was time to fly and show the country these wax wings!
Grizzarus Nation took off with power! 128 points in two games! 120+ unanswered points! Oh what fun it is to be the best team in the world, Grizzarus Nation would yell in glee! We’re going to win the National Championship this year, they’d roar!
But Grizzarus Nation got a little too high! As they soared and soared, they got too close to the sun that is Northern Arizona University. NAU was too hot and the hubris that made Grizzarus Nation soar so high was now leading to the melting the wax wings they were flying so high with. Stittalus must have been so sad to see this nasty and quick descent. Two conference losses and the Kingdom of Eastern Washington looming. Oh, what that UM arrogance just lead to.
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About the Author
Hot Take Nate Hot Take Nate now resides in Northern California but still calls Montana his home. It'll always be home.
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